reflections on our second year of marriage

Wow, I can’t believe that we’ve been married for two whole years already. Time has absolutely flown by and I’m sitting here wishing we could slow things down a little. I think being married in your early twenties is wonderful, but with it comes additional pressure of, you know, life in your twenties! We’ve both sort of felt that pressure of having to pack everything in now, to be further in life than we currently are, and that it’ll all be over in your 30s or when you have kids. Sitting here, reflecting on the past two years together and how quickly its gone by has reminded me to appreciate the here, the now and each other, no matter what’s going on around you at the time. We feel incredibly blessed to have found each other and share such a close friendship which has only flourished and grown.

Emile and I celebrated our anniversary in March by having a lovely chillaxed afternoon at Poachers Pantry followed by movies and cocktails on the couch – a day that’s very much us.

We thought we’d share a few thoughts on what marriage was like in our second year.

The difference between first and second year of marriage

Emile: “I feel like we have become a lot closer and have learnt to share a house a lot better (getting used to each other’s cleaning styles was a big one!). Another one was learning what makes the other person feel happy and loved in various ways, whether it’s acts of service or just being more aware of how the other person is feeling and what they need at different times. These things just became so much clearer and easier as time goes by.”

Annika: “I think the different between first and second year is what you learn about the other person. We didn’t live together before we married, so obviously first year was a learning curve in 1. living together and figuring out each other’s quirks and habits, and 2. starting your own habits and rituals together and getting into the same rhythm. Second year of marriage has been more about planning our life together and establishing yourselves as a family unit after knowing more about our shared values and goals. We’ve been travelling, moved cities and started planning the next 5+ years together.”

What we’ve loved about marriage so far

Emile: “I have just loved setting up a new home together and building a life as a family. The best parts have definitely been travelling together and experiencing new things with one other for the first time. It’s been amazing getting to know each other better and just doing life together, through the tough times and the really great times. There is never a dull moment when you have someone to share it with.”

Annika: “My thoughts are very much the same. I think the most awesome parts of marriage are sometimes just really ordinary parts of life but having someone to share it with. I have loved learning and growing together as we experience new things, like seeing different parts of the world, moving cities and just trying out new hobbies. There’s nothing like having someone by your side through all the seasons of life, who you can be vulnerable an honest with, but also just have a blast doing stupid things like the washing. I love every minute we spend together, and I never want to take that for granted.”

The hard parts of marriage

Emile: “I think getting married has made it harder to be romantic and show love in unique ways. When you’re dating, it’s all butterflies and romance all the time. We really loved our time dating, which is why it’s difficult to not think that the honeymoon period or spark is gone. But that’s also the beauty of being married and being able to share a pretty mundane human life together. Finding the balance of time between work, friends, hobbies and each other has been challenging, but that’s why they say, communication is key.

Annika: “This isn’t necessarily something that I’ve found hard, but it’s definitely something I’m working on, is to always be supportive and kind no matter what. Even when I’m in a bad mood or not feeling well, I always want to be loving. This is something that Emile has taught me – he does it so well. Something that I have found difficult though is to be completely honest and vulnerable. It’s completely freeing when you’re finally able to do that, and only brings you so much closer together.”